For one of the first times in my life, I am completely average.  I realized yesterday that I always stood out based on talent or drive or enthusiasm. In all aspects of my life, I am completely below the radar. I realized that in grad school, I'm average. In teaching, most of the teachers don't even know me. I believe I'm making some sort of impact with the kids. I suppose this is melodramatic and all but I hate feeling like I'm not anything special. 

Maybe it's the lack of music or age appropriate/meaningful social interactions.

aka i need to get out and party.

tree of life, centenial ridge, a few minutes, dutch blitz, no pants basketball, babysitter's seduction, flowers bringing billy back, mozzfries, lotto tickets, the mall, elves, thongs specifically ones that have been stolen, pumpkin spice lattes, liz's manvoice, sara's licking, amanda winning every damn game

carmelitas

i could use some of that right now, i think we all can

So I have to read 25 books by June.  I am taking all suggestions at this time. I haven't been up to date with much contemporary lit, but I'm also willing to take some classics suggestions....


Loves ya.

So I'm writing from my new and hopefully semi-permanent apartment. It is sooo big and gorgeous and close to Manhattan as well as my job.
I've decided to start making more decisions for myself. I started thinking back about every major decision I've ever made and the only one I actually made on my own was going to Wagner.  So that is my school year goal, making decisions and not letting other people bully me into things. 

Otherwise things rock. I'm auditioning for some choirs and hopefully I'll start taking lessons again.

Oh but most importantly, Congrats to my three bestests, Liz, Amanda, and Sara, they are all doing incredible awesome things in their lives right now that make me sooooo proud to call the mis carmelitas. Good luck with the new jobs girls and LIZ for being the star of her job.

The 4th of July makes me really anxious. This sounds crazy but ever since elementary school, the 4th brings soo much pressure. It screams, if you don't start making the most of your summer now, you will be wasting it!!! So I am feeling really anxious to like get my act together and do all the things I planned.

Dear Class,

      I can honestly say that I didn’t imagine myself writing to you all days before your graduation. 

One year ago, I graduated college.  I had no idea what I wanted to “be when I grew up” but

 I knew I wanted to be around people who had different experiences then I had. I’ve had the

blessing to see you all grow and change throughout the past year. I am very, very, proud of each

and every single one of you.

     Throughout this year I believe you only failed at one thing; not seeing what Ms. Cunningham and

I saw in you from the start. From here on in, I need you to do me a favor and see in yourselves what

is there. When I looked throughout the room I see beautiful faces, intelligent minds, daring attitudes,

kind hearts, humor, loyalty, honestly, integrity, and sensitivity. When I look into the future, 820 consists

of a psychiatrist, a poet, a basketball player, a veterinarian,  a fashion designer, a teacher, a coach, a

business man, a pilot, a video game designer, an illustrator, a doctor, and I honestly can not wait to see

how it all turns out. My favorite high school teacher recently emailed me and said "Keep all your dreams

front-and-center, ready to be realized, no matter how big or small or seemingly unattainable

at the time." So class, my last assignment/ requirement is that you believe in yourself and follow

whatever dreams and passions you have. Work hard so those dreams can be realized and give

yourself the opportunities you truly deserve.

     Now, I know these songs aren’t necessarily music you would listen to all the time but I want you to

use this when you are feeling less than your best and take the time to remember when you were a

part of a truly unique and inspiring family of friends.820, was known for defying the rules and taking

chances but more importantly for your dedication and loyalty to one another. I wish you all the best

and I will always remember you as my first graduating class. The Class of 2007.

Tonight, I watched the movie "BobbY". Usually I'm not into the whole historical fiction genre but this was a great film. I usually don't give too many movie reccomendations which means you should trust me. There were several scenes dealing with race and culture that were incredible. 



I kinda at an emotional down point because I truly feel the kids I'm working so hard for are being held back. I know not everyone is college bound but seriously what the hell does it take to give all kids an equal education. What's terrifying is that I only see each student 4 days a week for 90 minutes a day and I struggle to finish what I'm told to teach them which generally has no correlation to their lives or even their success as a ethnic group. Maybe this is debbie downer but after 172 days of school, I think I can express my frustration. 

Ok, bedtime.